It starts promising, somewhat weird, with the following message: ”The world rots in conflict. Many tribes battle for dominance. While the Spiritual ones pray and sleep for peace, the Kindness punks fight for Chromatica.” Chromatica being, I’m assuming, the name of her 6th studio album. This is the first single she’s put out in 3 years. So the anticipation is high and the views reflect it: 18 million views in 2 days. Good job Gaga!
20 seconds in and we hear a rhythmic dance beat and see Gaga in a very cute, pink, teenage-like outfit and makeup. Btw, it is incredibly painful for me to watch this video as it is very low quality. Even in 1080p, it lacks resolution. Either her team didn’t export the right format for YouTube or YouTube compressed it too much. Not a good start though. To give you a better idea, I had to manually enhance the screenshots in Photoshop to boost their quality for your eyes. No way in hell I’m going to dissapoint my readers with such low quality images.
The editor of the video increased the saturation so much that Gaga’s teeth are not white anymore. Very yellow actually. And that is a huge turn off aesthetically. I can appreciate however her backup dancers’ outfits and in-sync makeup. Very cute. And her voice is strong as always.
The pace is picking up and I am realizing we’re at the pre-chorus. And I don’t like it. Very monotone, very robotesque (does this word even exist?), and very synthetic. Maybe she’s just hyping it up for the main hook? aka chorus? Oh and she stepped in her 2nd Gaga-esque outfit. Very futuristic.
The hook kicks in and Gaga breaks into a dance routine along with her squad. I don’t understand if she’s a Kind Punk or a Spiritual?! Got no idea nor is she helping me get it. Now back to the hook… brutally boring. No lyrics, only electric piano, synthetic sounds and… extremely disappointing for being Gaga’s comeback song. I miss her Poker Face days.
At this point, I’m bored AF. Even visually. Yeah she’s dancing and being in shape, something modern artists don’t even care about anymore, but she lacks substance. It feels like she just threw this song together in 2 minutes and jumped in the booth and then hired a freelancer online to add a beat to it. Terrible.
Then we’re back to the 1st outfit. I thought things were gonna pick up somehow, I don’t know how that could have been possible though, and it just goes flat from here. FLAT. I don’t know if she thinks we’re still in 2008 when she blew up and was dominating the music industry, but Gaga… this is BORING for 2020. People don’t just stick around to watch 3 outfits for a whole 3 MINUTES (has she heard of Tik Tok?). Cause that’s how ”many” you changed. 3 darn outfits. Are your fans a joke to you? the 80k dislikes agree with me apparently.
Remember when I told you in a previous article that artists tend to let their egos get the best of them and think they have a great music video when in reality is just average? Yup, this is what we have here. Gaga thinking she’s being creative while I’m just dreading the whole thing. But I’m watching it for you, so you could learn from her mistakes. And you have above her 3rd outfit. End of story. Nothing new shows up from now on.
Note: I just read the caption of the video and it says ”shot entirely on the iPhone 11 Pro”. Well it’s freaking terrible for an artist of such caliber. Gaga, I hope Apple paid you enough for this lame job to taint your career and brand.